crownless | info / permissions

you calling me a destroyer? "i could get used to it, but i really hate those stereotypical anti-hero types."

NAME Travis Touchdown
AGE 37
CANON POINT post-Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes

OOC PST, tag speed 1-4 days, brackets or prose. i am 25+ and use she/they. :)

BEST CONTACT
PM or

smithsyndicate (lmk before adding)

LINKS APPLICATION IC INBOX UNIVERSAL PERMISSIONS 4TH WALLING PERMISSIONS HMD KINK LIST

INFO

noctium app | wiki (nmh 1/2) | wiki (tsa)

"Travis Touchdown... an extraordinary assassin, and a genius gamer. I've heard that you're a lazy, selfish, overly opinionated, fucking otaku - but also that you're just, kind to cats, and a man of your word."

Travis Touchdown is built squarely upon this set of contradictions. He's driven to see a mission to the end, but flees from his own responsibility; he's a self-centered asshole, but deeply empathetic to other victims of circumstance; he’s a self-aware collection of gaming and pop culture tropes, as well as a man deeply affected by a cycle of violence he knows he’ll never totally escape. Not that he’d make any of this obvious, though. If he could, he’d just live his life out playing video games and hanging out with his cat away from the rest of the world. Travis is a real punk at heart: he's happiest whenever he's doing whatever the hell he wants, whoever else's expectations be damned. He revels in being contrarian and breaking as many rules as possible, which is probably why most people initially take him for... just some fuckhead, pretty much.

But Travis is much, much more than that.

"Let's just go back to that world of blood. To fight in that endless battle. Once we grow tired of it, let's have a beer. Let's drink until we got no more fucks to give. Until we lose all hope. Then if you still feel like dying, let's meet again."

To understand Travis, one has to understand how he got here. At 27, he became an assassin-- half for revenge, half out of a self-destructive desire to use violence to bring meaning back to his life. And it worked. He was in over his head, but he took to it well, and 10 years down the line his life’s now completely defined by killing and bloodshed. It's to the extent that, once he finally realized that it was too late for him to go back, the only option that he could think of was to run away from his whole life just to start feeling like a human being again. At the same time, being a killer is such an integral part of his identity that, even after fleeing from that world, he refers to killing as being about "instinct" rather than meaning: "That spark lights up in your brain, and that sweet, sweet dopamine starts to flow." He doesn't use it for entertainment or distraction anymore, but he also doesn't shy from it, and still clearly derives satisfaction from violence.

But it's not so easy to redefine yourself. Violence is what he's best at, as well as the only way he can express himself; it's a inherent, irreconcilable piece of who Travis Touchdown is. So not only is Travis trapped in an endless cycle of violence, these attempts to leave it have left him with a sense of ennui and existential crisis. When left at peace for too long, Travis becomes restless and anxious, lacking in purpose. This isn't to say he kills indiscriminately, however. He detests murder without a cause and respects his opponents, especially if they're a good match for him. Nothing is more abhorrent to Travis than taking advantage of another's life-- or death-- and assassins being disrespected and treated like a spectator sport is the reason he left the United Assassins Association in the first place. What he longs for more than anything is the challenge of a fair and square fight. It's about the challenge and the thrill of going head to head, even at the risk of his own life.

"But I can't just rid myself of that baggage, like you said. I'll be carrying this shit with me till I die."

At his age and in the business of killing, he hasn't gone unscathed. Travis is a man hiding a great deal of pain and regret behind a seemingly shallow front. He's lost people he's loved, had countless fights go sour, and been the target of others' vengeance over and over again. The shackles of revenge, as an old enemy once said, are on him; he can never escape the cycle of violence no matter how hard he tries. But for what may be the first time in his life, he's self-aware enough to see it and acknowledge the mess he's made for himself, although he knows he is powerless to stop it. Where he once shifted blame, he now accepts that these problems are of his own making. Where he'd once seek distraction in violence, he ultimately finds meaning, and finally embraces the sense of identity that it gives him. Because no matter where or how far he runs, he'll always be Travis Touchdown-- and Travis Touchdown is an assassin. If he can't ever kill the past, he may as well be a killer on his own terms.

Of course, none of this means that he's lost his old faults and old quirks, though. He's a totally unrepentant nerd; he's opinionated, loud, and rude; he's shameless and does whatever the hell he wants cause he loves to stir shit up and be the center of attention. He might be getting older, a little washed up, perhaps even actually wiser, but he's still the same old asshole he ever was. He will, after all, always be Travis Touchdown, right?

PERMISSIONS

OUT OF CHARACTER
BACKTAGGING yes! i'm slow too, go for it!
THREADHOPPING yes, i love shenanigans!
FOURTHWALLING absolutely, nmh is 80% fourth wall breaking lmfao. i'll always ask for permission before fourth walling your character, but please let me know here if you'd like to opt out entirely!

CONTENT

please warn for descriptions of extreme gore (violence is fine, just not guro-level!), body horror, dubcon, incest, and past child sexual assault.

hard nos: threads involving the above & characters under 15; shipping & smut with characters under 18; noncon.

otherwise, im fine with most other topics. when in doubt you can always ask - thanks for your consideration! c:

IN-CHARACTER
PHYSICAL CONTACT travis is very tactile, go right ahead.
SHIPPING & SMUT i'll be playing gen for memes unless otherwise stated; otherwise, i play travis as bisexual with a preference for women. oocly i've written more m/m but am happy to thread with characters of any gender. 25+ characters preferred, and unless otherwise discussed, any potential smut will fade to black. kink list over yonder.
VIOLENCE HE LIVES FOR IT LOL. please ask before dealing any serious injuries but otherwise im super down.
TELEPATHY yes! unless a character digs deep into the trauma salad that is the inside of travis' head they're likely just gonna get white noise and dirty thoughts tbh.
IC TRIGGERS (cw: incest, csa, rape) travis will do VERY poorly with discussions of sexual assault and incest: his half-sister was raped by their father from an early age, and he did not discover this-- or that he had siblings at all-- until adulthood. this won't ever come up in casual threads, and although i'm not opposed to him opening up about it, it'll take a SUBSTANTIAL amount of cr to make it happen.

noctium

GEM & TRANSFORMATION ruby; his gem's about the size of a coin and on the back of his left hand, under the red ball of the death glove. travis will be experiencing minimal chimera transformations ~~but he'll have nekomimi sometimes, moe~~
HOUSING travis shares a 2br apartment in emerald district government-subsidized housing with unwilling roommate oscar

riveres.
JOB various odd jobs, including ~~doordash~~ gemgrub and quests at ardbert's. slowly seeking jobs of a more illegal and murdery nature.

IMPRESSIONS

headcanons & handwaves

VISUAL A white American man in his late 30s. Stands at ~5'11" with a bit of a slouch and a lean, wiry-muscular build, save for a less defined stomach (#dadbod). Travis has pale blue eyes and dark hair that's nearly always spiked up. His personality and a younger-looking face mean he'll sometimes read as low as late 20's to strangers: he's got strong, angular features, defined cheekbones, a shit-eating grin... Altogether, he's sort of handsome, if not unconventionally so. He's got a few freckles and moles on his face and body, mostly on the shoulders and back, as well as a few scars. Most prominent are the long scar over his left eye and a large, starburst-shaped scar on his chest. [artist]

FASHION Perpetually casual. Travis favors jeans, cool jackets in different colors and designs, and graphic tees-- in Noctium he's substituting the t-shirts for henleys and other casual shirts he doesn't have to button up.
OLFACTORY He doesn't wear cologne, so neutral soap, sun, earth, musk (??????). Occasionally: blood, sweat.
AURAL Voiced by Robin Atkin Downes. Wildly expressive in tone and inflection, ranging from loud and crass to subdued and serious.
DEMEANOR Travis doesn't behave like he owns the place: he's a party crasher who won't get tossed out without a fight. Confident and self-assured, he's comfortable in his own skin and doesn't especially care what anybody thinks about him, as long as he's able to communicate himself in the ways he wants. ~~In other words, he's super annoying.~~ He takes up a lot of space, talking with his hands and using body language often.
MENTAL & ETC Of average intelligence (yes, really). Has a lot of complicated feelings for his family and for the concept of violence; while he's no longer suppressing his most painful memories, he is still prone to emotional avoidance and escapism as a coping mechanism.

PLAYLIST