[ really, how is any of this his fault? it feels like everything has been unfair for travis and he feels like a lot of how he reacted was normal for anyone pushed to the edge. the human world is complicated and messy; it makes the spiritual world even more so. it probably isn't right to liken everything to what he knows in that respect, but still--
but still -- it hurts to thin of travis hurting so much like this. and yet the man smiles and helps out everyone that is around him. and yet that person probably feels like everyone will abandon him at any second, or be killed by someone else.
how sad.
that kind of life must be unreasonably sad.
if he died, he probably become a spirit filled with regret, and that is too painful to think about, too.
but what he can ask is: ]
But do you want to go back to who you were before?
[he thinks. he tries to type out an answer, deletes it, tries again and deletes it again.]
No things are too different now, and if i tried, i would just be lying to myself i want to be honest. not just to me, but to everyone who really knows me.
i want to do right, but it has to be on my own terms.
and if you can't trust me anymore cause of all this, i get it. really.
[he's forgotten, after all, what it's like to know people on the other side of his little world.]
I understand. I think that's fine -- wanting to be true to yourself and everyone that knows you. I also think it's brave to want to do what's right by your terms. Most people would be scared of what that meant.
[ Especially someone in Travis's situation, but he can't say that. ]
I can trust you. You've never said anything to me to try to trick or kill me, right? So, why wouldn't I still trust you?
i was scared of it before like it meant I wasn’t ever gonna feel human or something. I should be thanking you for helping me remember what “normal” is again.
and… i dunno, because i kept all this a secret from you? of course I’d never hurt you, even if we weren’t friends, but if i were in your shoes i dont think i wouldve trusted me. so… i guess ive gotta be grateful for your trust too, yashiki
You don't need to thank me for something like that, Travis. You always have been human. No matter what. Humans can be corrupt and twisted and can let their own emotions drive them to do terrible things, but that doesn't make them anything other than themselves. So long as you're able to feel some peace in who you are, I think, you'd be okay.
It wasn't for me to know, right? I don't know why I wouldn't trust you. Even if you did those things, you are someone that's been hurting more than me. So, I trust your pain and hope one day that it'll not hurt as much.
But you're welcome. You're really thanking me a lot. I don't think I did anything to deserve it, but thank you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
but still -- it hurts to thin of travis hurting so much like this. and yet the man smiles and helps out everyone that is around him. and yet that person probably feels like everyone will abandon him at any second, or be killed by someone else.
how sad.
that kind of life must be unreasonably sad.
if he died, he probably become a spirit filled with regret, and that is too painful to think about, too.
but what he can ask is: ]
But do you want to go back to who you were before?
no subject
No
things are too different now, and if i tried, i would just be lying to myself
i want to be honest. not just to me, but to everyone who really knows me.
i want to do right, but it has to be on my own terms.
and if you can't trust me anymore cause of all this, i get it. really.
[he's forgotten, after all, what it's like to know people on the other side of his little world.]
no subject
I think that's fine -- wanting to be true to yourself and everyone that knows you.
I also think it's brave to want to do what's right by your terms.
Most people would be scared of what that meant.
[ Especially someone in Travis's situation, but he can't say that. ]
I can trust you.
You've never said anything to me to try to trick or kill me, right?
So, why wouldn't I still trust you?
no subject
I should be thanking you for helping me remember what “normal” is again.
and… i dunno, because i kept all this a secret from you?
of course I’d never hurt you, even if we weren’t friends, but if i were in your shoes i dont think i wouldve trusted me.
so… i guess ive gotta be grateful for your trust too, yashiki
no subject
You always have been human. No matter what.
Humans can be corrupt and twisted and can let their own emotions drive them to do terrible things, but that doesn't make them anything other than themselves.
So long as you're able to feel some peace in who you are, I think, you'd be okay.
It wasn't for me to know, right?
I don't know why I wouldn't trust you.
Even if you did those things, you are someone that's been hurting more than me.
So, I trust your pain and hope one day that it'll not hurt as much.
But you're welcome.
You're really thanking me a lot.
I don't think I did anything to deserve it, but thank you.